Uphill - both ways

When you try to explain to people how running on the hill my street is on is really running up hill both ways, they often respond: but do you do that barefoot and in the snow as well?

Seriously, that 1.5 mile stretch is uphill from my house to the crest before it dips and goes back up the hill a bit. When you turn around, you're not really running down hill and you find yourself running back uphill until you reach the crest again and then you have a sharp down hill until you get back to the house. It's one of the hardest 1.5 miles you can run around here - there is actually a much harder one about a half mile from my house as that side of the same hill is much steeper but has more of a downhill feel when you're running down it.

I'll probably go out again today and do the 1.5 a second time to see if it's any easier after running it yesterday. I doubt it will be, it's been almost a year and it's still a tough freakin' run.

Some days the bear eats you

Tonight was my first race since... well, since March.

It was one of the weekly 2.6 mile races and I decided to give it a try. It wasn't a question of being physically ready - as I pretty much am sure I was. I wasn't mentally ready, and that makes a difference.

This isn't a "well, well, you tried..." sort of thing. This is a mile in I realized I just wasn't there. I ran about a mile and realized I was done. I walked the last 1.6 miles and threw in a bit of jogging here and there, but emotionally I was not in a good place. Perhaps I tried to push myself a bit too soon. Perhaps all those injury fears that I had finally dumped the day I set up a 1/2 training program and then promptly went down for the count were still a bit too close to the surface. Whatever it was, it wasn't a case of willing myself through.

It was a horrible run, no two ways around it. I will eventually figure out how to run that course with joy again, it just wasn't going to be tonight. In the meantime, my vertigo seems to have gone away and it's time for me to figure out a new course of action and give this a try again next Thursday night.

Where Am I? What Am I Doing?

Just as I started running and feeling good about it again, I started having problems with vertigo. So after a week of taking anitbiotics for a possible low-grade sinus infection, I'm better. Tomorrow I'll try going for a run and see how I do.

Two down

This morning I was committed to volunteer at the New Charles River Run and I had 2 miles scheduled on my c25k plan. This meant getting up hella early on a Sunday to get my run in.

But I did it. I ran two miles in 24:49 - which is a 12:24 mile. So even though I was saying things to myself like, "Whoa girl, take it down a notch...." and forcing myself to slow down, I ran 2 miles at my regular pace. There's something truly gratifying about that. I'm scheduled to do a 2.5 long run next Sunday, but I may move it up to Thursday and run the US Blues 2.6 miler... we'll see.

Either way, I'm feeling like I've got 2 down and a whole life more ahead.

Lies We Tell Ourselves

I made myself a pair of sarong pants last night, but grappled with wearing them today because I was worried about looking fat in them. Then came the inevitable, "I only I were 70 pounds lighter...."

That's when it hit me, even if I were 70 pounds lighter, I would still be stressing over my weight. I would be worried about putting on or increasing a size. Size 8? Maybe if I skip lunch a couple of days I could squeeze into that 6....

I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with my body, that's the reality. In the meantime I'm happy to be running again and maybe the rest will come.

Spirt of a Great Heart

Let me just start with RIP George Carlin. The world will be a sadder place without you in far too many ways.

Today is day 1 of a c25k program. I am using the Runner's World 5 weeks to a 5k and today was a 20 minute walk/xt day.

With my iPod on shuffle, I went out for my walk and the first song up in the playlist was "Spirit of a Great Heart" by Jimmy Buffett. I must admit that song really set the tone for today's workout. After 5 minutes in I thought "what the hell" and started to slowly jog for 5 to prove to myself I could. It felt so good to just be outside moving like that. I did throw in a couple of more minutes when the Nike+ warned me I had 5 minutes remaining.

In all, I covered 1.5 miles. Not a lot and yet what a great distance.

Sunday morning

I can now use the glider, I'm walking and growing more flexible day to day. Yesterday our reel mower came back from the shop all sharpened and lubed and ready to go - so what's a Pika to do on her Sunday morning if she can't run? She spends 45 mowing down the hay field that our front lawn has sprouted.

I felt compelled to do this on this particular Sunday morning because about 300 runners will be passing my house for an inaugural 10k that I had worked into my training plan a few months back. I was going to run the Harpoon 5 miler on Saturday and the local 10k on Sunday to see how I felt. At this point in my training, it seemed to make sense... alas, the best laid plans of mice and men as they say.

So upon waking and looking out the window at my lawn this morning, the thought of waiting for any of the teenage boys in this house to "get around to it" didn't work for me knowing neighbors, friends and people whom I would never meet would run past all these well manicured lawns and then see mine.

Sorry Charlie, doesn't work for me.

So for 45 minutes or so, I happily listened to my baseball soundtrack on my iPod while mowed away. The boys can rake and trim later.

Beyond that, this week I work up to 30 minutes of walking and start working on the elliptical and bikes at physical therapy. If all goes well, I start on my c25k in a couple of weeks - a month earlier than expected. It's a nice way to start the week: feeling like you've accomplished something with the optimism of moving forward.

Another Day Another 20 Minutes

Today I just took a quick walk from work to the near by woods and walked along the trail for 20 minutes. It really was a pretty walk - the leaves were green, the sky was blue and the weather was warm. I'm down to a 16:09 pace for my walking, which is particularly excellent given I was walking on a trail rather than paved surface. I also did a couple of quick sets of jogging 15-20 steps along the way.

The orthopedist said my right foot is still about 5* less in motion than my left, but to keep gently stretching.

So right now I'm feeling good.

Captain My Captain

As promised - that's me and the Captain. Yes, he really is that much taller than me and no Gazelle Boy didn't think to do a vertical shot.

My ankle is growing stronger daily. I've been told I can walk 20 minutes 3x weekly and use the glider or elliptical on my off days for cross training. Today I did try jogging between phone poles, but the inside of my ankle complained loudly after a few steps, so I stopped.

I'm still doing my PT exercises and still growing stronger.

A good day for a walk

I am down to a lace up brace and new exercises were added to my PT: standing on my right foot for 30 seconds, runner's stretch and soleus stretch, I'm also able to take short walks.

So I restructured my "training" to go for 20 minute walks a few times a week. I decided to try and stay on mostly level ground but when I walked up the hill near my house I was feeling it. What was frustrating was wanting to walk at my regular pace and knowing I had to slow it down to an 18 minute mile. I know, I know, it's part of healing but it's one of those things.

When I was out, the colors were beautiful. The lilacs are starting to fade and the rhododendrons are starting to come into full bloom. There were a couple of gardens starting to bloom. As I finished up my walk, the sun was setting and the colors across the sky were breathtaking.

It was a reminder that no matter how rough the past six weeks or so have been, I'm getting stronger and it won't be long before I'm up and running and training. As if I needed a reminder that I"m getting back on track, today I got the notice for the Tufts 10k on October 13. If I start training the first week of August, I'll be right on track to run it. The PT told me that I should be starting to think about running about mid-July, so it looks as though it will be a good time to start training.

It was a good day for a walk and hopefully soon it will be a better one for a run.

The New Apple Store

OK, so I'm sitting here in the brand new flagship store where I have just had my photo taken with my hero.... Jason Varitek!!!!!!! Yes folks, the Cap'n himself is in da house.

Now you may wonder how someone with their right leg in a splint managed to make it up the spiral staircase. One word: carefully. In fact, I almost did a header when a Japanese tourist with a video camera just missed plowing into me.

But as I said, the Sox are in the house and I'm a happy Pika. The pix will be up soon (as I'm using the computer here at the store)

It's a happy day for me. :) I'm glad tomorrow will be about icing down my ankle!

The Sweet Smell of Lilacs

One thing I love this time of year is the smell of lilacs.

Today they were even sweeter because I walked several blocks to stop at two different bushes and take a deep, lingering inhale of the sweet fragrance. I was also able to stand for a couple of hours on the floor at work to cover some breaks. Yes, I'm paying the price a little bit as I have my ankle up and iced right now - but it just felt so good to be able to do something other than totally hobble all over.

I'm happy. I'm relieved and I'm feeling good.

Hooray for lilacs. Hooray for feeling strong.

Let the Physical Therapy Begin

I went in today for my first PT appointment where I learned some interesting things.

For example, I learned that my ankle joints have a larger gap in them than normal. It's not a bad thing, but it explains why I tend to roll them. I also learned that because my hips are weak, my ankles are picking up the slack... again, part of the rason why they tend to roll.

My PT is a runner, so she is going to structure everything towards that goal as I heal. So now I've got a set of exercises to start working on to strengthen the gluteus medius (one of the hip/butt muscles) as well as some easy sets of ankle things to do as well.

Good times, baby, good times

Getting ready to dance

The cast came off today! While I'm still not quite able to do the happy pika dance, it's a good first step. I'm on the crutches for another week and I didn't need a bivalve cast (splint/cast hybrid). I'll start physical therapy as soon as I can get an appointment and the hope is I can start back on a c25k program possibly as soon as the beginning of July!

The people at Harvard Health kept my cast to put on display in the cast room since I was just going to chuck it. Amazing what you can do with some sharpies and a lot of time sitting around singing songs about how much you hate people who can run when you can't. Right now - no more need for songs, no more Jim Carrey from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, loathe, despise....) and certainly no more sulking about this.

All of this makes me want to dance, even if I can't yet. So I'll let Pika dance for me for now.

future plans

So I figure the best way through things is with a plan. So here's the plan, I will get through this and set my sights on the Disney half in January. Once I have a bench mark I will work from there - but that's the plan. When I see my orthopedist on Tuesday (who is a runner), I will discuss my plan with him and see if it's a viable one and if it is - then there's the plan.

Here's hoping.

Bored, bored, bored

I'm so freakin' bored that I'm doing things like drawing on my cast, making up songs... the usual. No matter how upbeat I try to be, there are days like today when I want to be out and about and running on the paths or on Heartbreak Hill.

Today we were driving along Storrow Drive and I was getting mad at the people out there jogging and running. So I started singing:

I hate these people,
look at them running
and I'm stuck with this cast
on my right foot

Look at them jogging,
I hate these assholes
now that I"m stuck with
this cast on my foot


and so on.

As you may guess, I'm not in a happy mood about all this today. Tomorrow I'll be fine, I know I will be, but right now I'm sulky. So it goes.

No Dice Charlie

Well the trip to the orthopedist was not a happy one. Bilateral tendon damage upgrades you from a severe sprain to a fiberglass cast for a couple of weeks, a bivalve cast after that and then PT and a series of braces.

In other words: no races for a while.

On the upside, hauling myself around on crutches for a while should do wonders for my biceps and upper body. I'm starting to research what core exercises I can do and will think of it as "cross training" until I get the green light to start walking.

So for now, I have a blank, white fiberglass canvas calling out for some spectacular work with some sharpies.

The Little Engine

Most of us were raised on the book "The Little Engine That Could" by Mary Pipher. The whole "I think I can, I think I can..." mantra comes from that story of a little train pushing itself up a major hill. It's all about believing in yourself in all that.

So here I am, a few days out from my injury with a foot that looks as ugly as it feels (and I"m feeling it through the good pain stuff too). But I've spent the last couple of days with my foot up thinking, "What's next?"

Well, first it's seeing my orthopedist to get a full assessment. Once I have that, it will be a lot easier to to figure out my plans. Until then we have a few things: The first is coaching Mr. Pi.

That's right, I'm coaching Mr. Pi again. He's doing the Runner's World 5 weeks to a 5k program for gym credit. I picked up a Nike+ Sport Band to help him record his info. He'll also be keeping an online log with notes and writing up a short report ... all for gym credit.

He's really excited about the whole thing - which is nice. Who knows what will happen with him.

So for a couple of weeks while I wait for the swelling and bruising to reduce, I'll be advising and watching Pi. As soon as I can bear weight again, I'm going to start building time on the glider (no stress on the knees/ankle/etc.) so I don't lose fitness capacity. As soon as I have the word, I'll start in on a walk to run plan and build up with the goal of the BAA 1/2 this fall.

This is a set back, not an ending. All I need to remember is "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....."

This Blows

I go out for a run today - the weather is beautiful, I worked out a training plan with an eye towards the BAA half in the fall. A mile and a half out my foot slipped on something and next thing I know, I'm in a heap on the ground with my right ankle is puffing up like a scared puffer fish.

A person nicely let me use their cell to call Mr. Bear and a woman driving by who saw me go down turned around to offer me a ride to the hospital. She nicely dropped me at the house and Gazelle Boy took me into the ER where I was given some percoset, an aircast and a pair of crutches before being shown the door to make a follow up with my orthopedist.

The golf ball sized lump on my ankle is an unhappy reminder of last fall. I know that I will get past this but it blows.

Keep Me In Your Heart for a While

Not that long ago, an online friend died suddenly. His sister thought to go through his online address book and let his running friends know. James "Cat" Cattano was one of the first guys to really get me to realize I was a runner. He worked with trouble kids and was often a confidant when I was going through some stuff with a crazy person in my life.

Last Sunday he would have been 46, so a group of us decided to celebrate his life by doing something we enjoyed. For me, I spent the day in my pj's reading the papers and doing the sudokus. I was going to run Cohasset but there were coordination issues with vehicles, timing issues and enough of a pain that I decided to pass and dedicate my run in the Doyle's Emerald Necklace run to him this week.

I love this run. This is through part of Olmstead's "Emerald Necklace," a string of parks around Boston. This is an out and back race at the Franklin Park end and it starts by the hospital near Forest Hills. From there it winds along the golf course, past the softball fields, the zoo and the stadium. It goes along water, where the ducks and geese were starting to swim and nest and through woods. If you didn't know that the funky end of the city was just the other side of the zoo, you never would have guessed by the scenery.

The weather was funky - overcast, chilly and threatening to rain. I stayed towards the back of the 1800+ runners and stuck to my strategy of run a song/walk a song and I was running pretty well. There were times when my inner loser would start raising his voice - which had me thinking, "I can just cut across the fairway..." or "No one would know if I ran across that triangle of grass instead of around it..." and I would think about Cat - which send the inner loser off to sulk in the corner and keep me on course.

The last quarter mile, you come out of the park and the last quarter mile is up Williams Street to Doyle's Bar and Grill. The street is lined on both sides with triple deckers filled with artists, hipsters and college students. As you come down that final stretch, they are out clapping and cheering. One group sits out drumming in the driveway, complete with baby hippies dancing in organic clothes. The college students were the loudest and most enthusiastic, thanking me for picking up the pace and I thanked them for their support.

As I approached the finish, there was a guy in a red hoodie cheering me on pretty enthusiastically and I realized it was my big brother! It was a real surprise and a happy treat to see him there.

Later, I was listening to a bunch of songs shuffling through my iPod and there was the one Warren Zevon song that still makes me tear up: Keep me in your heart for a while. It is the last song he wrote for his wife when he was dying. The words, "hold me you thoughts, take me in your dreams ... and I will be right there with you."

So yes, I kept him in my heart for a while and it was a good.