There is an old Harry Nilsson song called "Remember." It is a beautiful ballad that was originally called "Remember (Christmas)" and had sleigh bells in the background. I mostly know it from a really, really bad movie he made with Ringo Starr called "Son of Dracula" where he sings it as a love ballad.
The song has been playing in my head over the past few days. I'm not sure why but today the yoga teacher was talking about how it was "OK to weep" in one of the positions. She began talking about how sometimes yoga brings up emotions and feelings that we try to stuff down or dismiss. Once we deal with them, then all that is left is to embrace joy.
It's been a rough month. Not being able to run, stresses from the holidays and other stressors that crop up as part of living are stronger since I didn't have an outlet to channel them. Tonight when I found myself literally stuffing them down with spoonfuls of cookie dough, I understood what the yoga teacher was talking about in class today.
I have six weeks to get myself back into shape for my race and I'm worried I won't be able to do it. I haven't been a total couch potato, but there's a big difference between logging 3 miles in a week and logging 3 miles in a run. Tomorrow I'm going to Heartbreak Hill - where I always go to confront my running fears - and try to log at least 3.5 miles. On the way home, I'll stop at the library and pick up a copy of one of Nilsson's CDs that has "Remember" on it and kick back and listen carefully to the nuances of the music.
Until then, I'll try and remember that when I'm sad and feeling down, to turn around and think of all that life can be.