I was all set to run in a New Year's 4 miler but when I woke up to freezing rain and rain, I thought better of it. Normally running in the rain wouldn't bother me, but where I'm just getting over stuff, I didn't want to risk it. So instead I headed into the gym to do some time on the treadmill.
Now it clearly wasn't a day for me to do anything serious. The weather had stopped me from running outside but when I got to the gym, I realized I didn't have the antenna for the Nike+ with me - so anything I did was going to be unrecorded - and I could live with that - but running on a treadmill just wasn't... well, I don't want to say "fun" because I don't expect it to be. I guess it wasn't satisfying.
As I thought about it, I realized this is like when I first started and wouldn't run where people would see me. I was always worried people would make fun of me. As I started up the treadmill, I realized that I had no clue how to program the thing. I mean, if you want to run a hilly 5k course, how do you set that on these things? What if you want to run a flat, easy tempo distance or something in between?
I stood there watching other folks - fitter folks who were all much younger than me - confidently straddle the belt, push some buttons and then they were off. Me, I stood there thinking, "I should know how to do this."
I only spent 20 minutes on the thing - pretty much raising and lowering the speed as I went along according to what I felt I could handle. The truth is, I joined because I want to do weight training and I really want someone there to keep an eye on me so I don't hurt myself. The idea of running on the treadmill on days like yesterday are a bonus.
This week I'll set up my time with the personal trainer to work through some weight stuff and figure out a plan. I've got to get back to form before the Hyannis race at the end of February. I'd like to be able to feel like I could do the half - if I wanted to - even though I'm signing up for the 10k.
It all leads to this week's mantra: I must be patient with myself.