Run For the Arts 5k

Every year my brother from Ohio rents a place on the Cape for a couple of weeks and we all get together one day to relax by the pond, cook out and just hang out together. In recent years, the day has started with running a 5k in Yarmouth called "Run for the Arts."

Last year I was going to do the walk with Mr. Pi - but about a half mile in, his stomach cramped up with some sort of bug and we bailed so he could find a blue can of death someplace. I was going to jump in with the 5k runners - but then my stomach cramped up and I bailed to look for one myself.

This year was a different story, this year I was looking forward to running a fairly flat course that winds through sleepy treelined roads and past the ocean on a beautiful day on the Cape. Buoyed by his success at the Johnny Kelley Race a couple of weeks earlier, Mr. Pi decided he wanted me to coach him through this as well. I was hesitant in signing him up as he hadn't done anything since the Johnny Kelley race, but he said he was ready and I said "OK."

We started off pretty strongly with a 3 minute run, keeping pace with a good portion of the pack before our first walk break. During the walk break, we ended up with the police car on our back sides and it was clear the pattern would be us, a group of two women - one coaching the other through - and a larger woman running while she could and walking when she couldn't. As we in our second run, he began to get a stitch in his side. I was trying to get him to breathe properly (from the belly, not the chest - slow and steady... c'mon). At our next walk break, he was starting to slack a little and that's when I finally began to understand personal trainers.

Now as an aside here, personal trainers are supposed to push you past what you think your limits are. Sometimes it hurts like anything and other times it feels great knowing you're growing stronger. I know there are people who probably thought "what a bitch" if they saw us out there or heard me, but part of this is knowing Pi, his penchant for drama and that he has little self-confidence. This wasn't as easy as the Johnny Kelley for him and that started the cycle of "I can't."

Fortunately for him, I wasn't going to let him bail. So for 2 miles I used everything I could to get him through - reminding him that the youngest was going to be at the end ... did he want to be last for him to rub it in Pi's face later? Stop saying "I can't..." and just do it. When there would be a minute left and he'd say he couldn't do it, I'd say, "40 more seconds" and then keep running past the 40 seconds. If he started counting, I told him he was counting too fast.

At one point he said, "I'm a lacrosse player, not a runner" and I replied, "You're an athlete and athletes run." He complained about parts that hurt and I asked him if he ever heard someone from the Cannons complain about pain. He said, "They're crazy men."

"I thought you said you wanted to play for them."

"I do, but I'm not insane crazy like they are."

"Well, what are you going to do to be that insane crazy or else you won't be playing with them now will you?"

The last mile became "run 2 phone poles. Ready, let's go." If he said, "I can't run 2," I'd reply, "You're running 3, now go..." He would get a little defiant but do it. He apologized for holding me back and I said, "Well, I'm not bailing on you - so you need to move." He quickly realized we were running half a many phone poles as walking, so when I'd give a number, it was easier for him to do run it.

The last quarter mile, people along the road either doing cool downs or milling around the end began to really encourage him with "you're almost there" and "looking good." Nini ran him in the last couple of hundred yards and we crossed together at the 42:53 mark. They asked us who crossed first and I said Pi did - so I'm on record as finishing last.

Later I reminded him that, as tough as it was, he did well and, more importantly, he didn't bail. He finished and that was an accomplishment. I thought it might have even been a PR for him - but he did the Johnny Kelley like 5 seconds faster. When school gets out this week, we talked about a training schedule for him. He knows he needs to run a two mile course in 16 minutes to make the JV and Varsity team next year - so he's committed, he just needs to believe he can do it and after this race he's starting to see he can.

One of my truths came full circle yesterday. I started running last year to help him prepare for lacrosse and I stayed with it long after he bailed after the season started. Now here I am helping him through it again with the realization that next year, if all goes well, he'll smoke me at this race. I have to admit, I look forward to that happening.

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

I went out for a 3 mile run today - and it was a good one. But it struck me as I was out there what a beautiful day it was. Here I am in a semi-urban environment (I live in a City, but it's really a suburb) at 8:30 on a Sunday morning running through the streets with practically no traffic. The sun was shining, I could smell all sorts of different flowers coming into season and the temperature was just right.

It showed in my running as well, I finished my first mile in 11:14. I slowed it down a little at that point, it wasn't a race - just a base building run after the successful 2 mile run I had the other day. I finished the 2nd mile in 12:24 and the third mile in 12:17. It was all good too - even the 3 minutes I walked after I finished the 2nd mile. My legs felt strong, my breathing was pretty good and the ankle didn't make itself known in the least the whole time.

Later I had to go to all the little league fields to check on games and rode my bike from field to field throughout my part of the city. Again, it just felt good to be out and about. The hills just didn't feel like anything running or cycling.

I like days like this when they roll around. It makes the bad days when everything feel like a labored chore that much more bearable.

Two Good Miles

Two miles is not a lot these days. After a year of running, finishing a couple of 10k's and a couple of 5 milers - what's 2 miles?

It's a sign of a rebuilt base and renewed hope.

After rolling my ankle Saturday, I've been taking it easy and keeping it rested. I decided I'd only go for a couple of miles and take it slow. So I took off for a run through the neighborhood and running trail while Stevie Wonder crooned in my ear.

The first test was the uphill in the neighborhood and things felt good, so I kept going. The downhill felt good too. Never once did the ankle make itself known... again all good signs. By the time I got to the trail, I was feeling like I could keep going for a while, but I didn't want to over do it.

In the end, I did 2 miles at a 12:04 pace - again, pretty good and overall was happy with my run (in case the excessive use of the word "good" didn't tip you off).

Last night was Gazelle Boy's graduation. I never thought I'd get weepy over something like that but there were a couple of moments where I thought I was going to cry. In true Gazelle Boy form, as they called the kids up for their diplomas, he removed the mortar board and replace it with his pirate hat. When he approached the line of officials, he saluted each one of them - saying to the principal with his best Sean Connery accent, "It was a pleasure serving under your command M...." Even from where we were, you could see her laughing.

So he's officially a college boy now and, for now, I couldn't be happier.

Harpoon 5 Miler

This is one of these races that sells out in nothing flat. Over 1400 runners took to the streets of South Boston to run 5 miles and (if they want) drink beer.

The Harpoon brewery is just down from the Boston Fish Pier, so when I pulled up this morning I was happy to smell the ocean. I know a lot of people don't like the smell of the ocean at low tide, but I always have. Since the race was out of the brewery, it was a 21+ race and I needed to show ID - an interesting dilemma as I had to figure out a way to carry my ID, keys and inhaler. I dug out my old mp3 player pouch which filled the bill. On my other arm was my Nike+ with the sensor on one shoe and the timing chip on the other. Not ideal, but at least I was balanced.

I found my sister in the corral as we waited to start and we lasted maybe a block before I told her to go on and run ahead. Since I hadn't worn my watch, I decided I would run the first mile, walk for up to 6 minutes and then run to the next mile marker where I would then repeat the walk/run cycled. Unfortunately I went out way too fast at the start, finishing the first mile in 11:06. I knew I wouldn't be able to maintain that and, given the humidity, I was grateful for the walk. The first mile was through an industrial area - which was eerily empty on a Saturday morning.

After the first water stop, you start to run along the beach before being diverted over the pedestrian causeway towards Castle Island. What a beautiful part of the run - to be running over the ocean with a welcome breeze and beautiful views. This was my favorite part of the run and was probably half the race distance. I was doing pretty well - keeping around 12:15 or so pace until I hit mile 4.

Mile 4 was back through the industrial areas we had run toward the beach and I was starting to feel the heat. Once we were away from the ocean, there was no more breeze. I could see the bulk of the pack ahead of me and was feeling good. I knew I'd PR when, about a half mile from the finish I stepped in a pot hole and rolled my right ankle.

Yeah, I dropped a few f-bombs and hopped a little. My ankle was sore, but it felt strong and I figured I'd just walk in - kissing the PR goodbye. Just as the Nike+ voice said, "400 meters to go," I noticed my niece was waiting for me. She didn't run the race, she was there as support crew and walked me in. I did jog the last 100 yards or so for a finish of 67:01. Turns out that I PR'd anyway since I did 67:29 at the Doyle's 5 miler 6 weeks ago.

When I got home, I barely had time to shower before running out the door to a meeting and some errands. By the time I got home, I was starting to feel it in my ankle - which was now starting to swell a little, so I grabbed the icepack from the freezer, took some ibuprofen and watched the Sox game. I'll treat it a little gingerly over the next couple of days, but the swelling is pretty much gone and there is only a slight bruise. I decided to give myself Sunday & Monday off and I'll go for a short run on Tuesday to see how it does.

I definately want to do this run again. Maybe I'll do the Sugar Bowl in July out of the L Street Running Club which covers a chunk of that route as well. I do know this much, there is a note in my Palm to keep my eye open at the Harpoon site for when registration opens next year so I don't miss out again.

Getting Ready to Run

With thunder storms and rain expected, I wanted to get my run in before the sun went away. Apparently I did so at just the right time because I'm sitting at my desk, mid-day, with the overhead light and desklights on as the sky darkens like no one's business.

Saturday is the Harpoon 5 miler and I promised myself that I'd be closer to ready than I was for the Doyles 5 miler. (What is it with 5 mile races and drinking? Hmmm...) So I went for a 3 mile run to get a sense of where I am. It was a good run today through the neighborhood, up and down hills and down the bike path along the river. Hills that were taking a lot out of me last March are actually pretty comfy right now. They still aren't easy, but they aren't the "I'm going to die" feeling any more either.

Because this is a 21+ race, I'm not running it with kids. No Gazelle Boy to burn through the course and no Mr. Pi to coach, just me (and maybe Stevie Wonder crooning softly in my ear).

Basically, any race ending with good beer at the end for free is OK in my book. :D

Kep Kep Jikwan

Today was the Johnny Kelley Memorial Race in Hyannis. I ran the 5k with Mr. Pi while Gazelle Boy ran the 10k (where he won his age bracket... again).

I was worried about doing this with Pi, he hadn't really trained and the last time I did a race with him was exactly one year ago where he spent the whole 2 miles whining. So needless to say, I was a little hesitant entering this one with him, but I really wanted to encourage him as well. We had agreed to walk at my pace for 5 minutes and run at his for 3 - so I wore my watch with the interval timer and the goal was a 15 minute mile.

We lined up toward the back and took off - him listening to Green Day on his iPod and me listening to Stevie Wonder on mine. At first he was disappointed we were so far back when I told him, "We'll pass most of these people as we start running."

I don't think he believed me at first - but he did keep pace and there was no whining this time. As we were coming up on the 5 minute mark to our first run, he said, "Count it down like Nina and then say, 'Kep, kep, jikwan.'" (Which is Klingon for "run, run, fat man.") So I said OK and counted "Three, two, one - kep, kep, jikwan."

Sure enough we passed the first group of folks and he held up well for the 3 minutes (which were more at my pace than his). As we started the next walk break, I pointed out that we had past the half mile point... much to his surprise.

He was excited to see the 1 mile mark a little while later and I pointed out to him that we were actually at a 13:45 pace - over a minute faster that our goal. As we turned the corner and had an open view of the ocean, he said, "This is beautiful, I wish I had brought my camera with me." Each time he'd start to fall a little behind, I'd encourage him to keep up. When we passed the 2nd mile marker, I thought he was going to leap with joy.

"I feel so good - I really do," he said as we passed it. As we passed the water stop where the half marathoners turn off the course, we walked through and I told him we were still on a 13:45 pace. The only thing that slowed him down was just after my Nike+ announced there were 400 meters left and his shoe untied. We approached the finish line and he grabbed my hand so we could cross together doing "the Johnny Kelley" - our joined hands upraised as we finished.

Unofficially, we ran it in about 43 minutes and I think he's now hooked. Even though I didn't really push myself, it was a good feeling coaching him through the race. Ironically, if he does use this to amp himself up to run, he'll be smoking me in no time - a day I look forward to with happiness.

Injuries We Don't Hear About

It isn't uncommon for someone to talk about injuries they receive as a runner. Sprains, bruises, stress factures, pulls, tears... you name it, there is a long, long laundry list of injuries to which runners are prone. Often they are accompanied by a sense of anger because the body betrayed you while you were doing something right and healthy.

The ones people don't talk about are even worse and are, in all honesty, far more common: bruised egos, damaged psyches, broken spirits, battered sense of worth, blown self images ... you name it, there is a far longer laundry list of those injuries than the physical ones. Worst of all, these injuries are far more debilitating because you are betraying yourself rather than your body betraying you.

I was thinking about this because I decided to use the treadmill today where it was still raw and rainy out. Surrounded by mirrors everywhere, I started my workout by catching a glimpse of my round body in the mirrors and it was a devestating blow. I almost dressed and slunk home but figured I was there, I was dressed - I needed to just bite the bullet and hop on the treadmill. The woman on the treadmill next to me was running at a faster pace and had that smooth runner's stride rather than my slow shuffle, but I pushed through trying to not look at the reflected image upon reflected image of me bouncing off 360* of mirrors.

The voice on the iPod caught me off guard when it said, ".5 miles completed." It didn't feel like I had been running for six minutes. It felt like I had just started. A couple of songs later, I was again surprised when it said, "1 mile completed." Then I noticed something odd.

Before the reflected image was that of a somewhat dumpy looking middle aged woman but after the slightly robotic distance pronouncement, I started looking good. My shoulders were in a good position - nice and relaxed instead of up around my ears. My stride didn't look so short and shuffly, my back was straight and head held high. Suddenly I began to feel good again. I was glad I had pushed through.

I ran an easy 2.5 miles before taking a "walk break." Now mind you my treadmill walk breaks consist on setting the incline to "15" and the speed at 3.5 - 4 mph and climbing through the break. I lowered back to 1 after 10 minutes and when the voice told me "400 meters to go," I pushed the speed up to a half mile an hour faster than I was running before. I ran that distance just that much faster to show myself I could.

After cooling down (and silly me, I forgot to reset the iPod so my cooldown is mixed in with the run), I headed back to the locker room for a shower and to change up. The reflection didn't look half bad after working out. In the end it was a good run with some interesting thoughts.

So Much for the Blues Run

Here I am all excited about the run when the following notice came in the mail for Gazelle Boy:

"You will be given special recognition by the World Language Department at our annual awards ceremony on the evening of Thursday, May 31. I would like to invite you and your parents to join us when we present this award..."

So no Blues Run, but that's OK. I'm kind of glad that I forgot to sign him up for the run and the night gets to be all about him.

The Tiki Bar is Open

At some point, all three boys have come to me to say they wanted to learn how to play drums. I told all three of them that they had to learn another instrument first because drummers can make or break a band in how they hold things together (or not).

Today's random selections on my iPod reminded me of why I told them that years ago. When I started the first song that popped up was "The Tiki Bar is Open" from Buffett's "Live in Mansfield, MA" (which is a show I happened to be at as well). As I started through the neighborhood, I noticed how my feet were easily falling in time with Ralph MacDonald's drumming as I ran up a hill that normally is bothersome. A mile and a half later, when I was starting to struggle a bit, the B-52's "Private Idaho" literally drove my feet through until I forgot that I was struggling.

In the end it was a good three miles and today I have good drummers to thank for it. But now I'm home and as they say - the tiki bar is open. Time to go make myself a smoothie and read the papers after a quick shower.

A Mixed Five

Yesterday I went out for five on Heartbreak Hill. I needed to give myself a push mentally and really assess where I'm at with things. Let's just say that with a hectic race week looming, I need to get my shit together which means I've got some work to do.

Basically here's what's happening, I am running the Johnny Kelley race on 5/27 in Hyannis - something I was looking forward to as a "benchmark" race ... you know, take your time from last year and compare it to this year and get a good measure of where you're at. Then Mr. Pi decides he wants to run it too, so instead of being a benchmark for me, it will be a babysitting race to encourage him to do what he needs to in order to make the lacrosse team next year.

Then, a few nights later, is the Blues Run in Cambridge... which is part of a race series that I'm signed up for since I volunteered to help before the Ras na hEireann... which is followed a couple of days later by the Harpoon 5 miler.

So - I think an easy 3 miles on Sunday with my son would actually be a good thing.

But to do all that I have to rebuild my base and my confidence levels. So yesterday I took to Heartbreak for a 5 miler. I ended up doing it as a run/walk and it was the first time on a run I stopped someplace to use the facilities near BC. But I did it and in about the same amount of time it took me to do the Doyle's race. So it's time to do some self evaluation.

First on the list is getting back to a regular schedule. It's one thing to train for a race and have a regular schedule - you know, following one of Hal Higdon's or John Bingham's or the Runner's World Smart Coach or whatever. Essentially I haven't been doing this in months and it shows. So it's time to pick a plan.

Second on the list is having some goals. The Blues run will actually help a lot with that as it's the first of 5 races. I can use that as my starting point - you know, see where I'm at in May, June, July, August and (finally) September and continue to whittle that time down race by race. There will also be other races through out the summer and picking a half marathon to train for.. which, right now, is down to the BAA Emerald Necklace half and the Lowell half this fall.

Third is cross training. I've been riding my bike recently - a half hour through the neighborhood and on the river trails Saturday, to run errands today and such. I decided to check out the parcourse at a nearby park and I'm trying to figure out the best way to use that to my advantage for some strength work. Once the lake opens for the summer, I'll probably throw in some dual training. I know it's exactly 5k from house to the lake, so to run to the lake, swim a half mile and then run home would be a pretty major accomplishment. Of course the pool is just down the street and I look forward to the adult swim time when I don't have to share the lane with 5 people of varying speeds while idiot tweens play "harass the swimmers...." if the life guards "forget" to put up a third lane again.

So I've got a grip and an overall plan, time to put it into motion.

Wake Up Your Soul

Even though I've been running, I haven't been writing about it for a variety of reasons. The past couple of days I've actually been able to return to "my" running paths - the ones alongside the river where I started last year.

It has been refreshing and somewhat cathartic as it felt good.

First of all, it was a joy being able to run 2 miles straight without a break. A year ago that was a distant dream, last December I could run it without thinking twice and a month ago I was disappointed that I just didn't have it in me to run that distance. But after a couple of weeks of rebuilding a base, it was a good feeling.

I'm glad I planned on walking the last mile because it's baby geese season. This is an exciting time of year for me as this is when the baby geese and baby ducks begin to hatch and are running around on the shores of the Charles under the watchful eyes of mama goose and mama duck. There's something about it that just makes me want to squeal like a little girl and say, "Baby geese!!!!"

I know it's kind of pathetic, but it's one of those things that just wakes up my soul in the spring. The other thing is that the lilacs are starting to blossom. There is nothing I love more this time of year than burying my nose in lilacs and taking a deep sniff.

If you were to ask why those things excite me I would have to guess it's because they both last for such a short time. A month from now you won't be able to tell the baby geese from the adult geese and the lilacs will all be faded. So it's nice to note and enjoy them while you can.

Birds in the Hood

OK, one of the problems with the GIS mapping programs out there like www.mapmyrun.com is that you can see a route from the satellites, but they don't tell you necessary details - such as the logical route you mapped is for golfers only. (No bikes, joggers or skateboards... damn!)

So I walked a little further down the street and a loop that turned out to be 1.5 miles - meaning if I do that loop plus an additional loop around the street it's 2.5 miles, which is a nice distance.

While I was walking there was a family of sandhill cranes were standing in the middle of sidewalk. There were two parent cranes and a baby crane just wandering around. I stepped off the sidewalk and walked around them - but it was pretty neat. Just as I got around the bend, there was another family of cranes standing in the street. They started heading for the sidewalk, but I said, "Back off bud - I was on the sidewalk first." They very nicely waited for me to pass before getting on the sidewalk. Very cool.

But I have my route for the morning and hope to get up early enough to run. So long as my mother is uncomfortable with me running when it's not full light out, I'll suck it up and wait until after 7 when the sun comes up and take it from there.

A Southern Mile

Yesterday's run was cancelled due to packing Gazelle Boy's running shorts and leaving my running skirt in the dryer (I must have dreamed I packed it). So this morning I went to Wally world for a cheap replacement while I'm in Florida.

This morning I discovered the loop around the neighborhood is one mile, so I've got one measurement down for now.

Over the past week I've been thinking hard about my running and what to do. It feels like April was a giant step backwards and I'm not sure what to do, so I figure I'll go back to basics. I'll start with run/walk intervals and start building my mileage again as I seem to have lost my base over the winter. I'll do the 5k race for the Johnny Kelley Memorial and think about an early summer 10k to train for and take it from there.

It shouldn't be long before I'm feeling confident about running again and able to tackle the next hurdle. But for now let's start again, not so much from square one as from near the start.

Five Miles of Excuses

Today was the Doyle's Emerald Necklace run, a 5 mile race through Franklin Park that ends at Doyle's, a landmark bar in Jamacia Plain. The run itself was a beautiful run alongside the golf course, playing fields, zoo and stadium. The sun was out, the weather was warm - in stark contrast to last Sunday's cold Nor'easter.

I started out with my sister and my niece - all excited because I figured out how to make the two interval timers work on my spiffalicious watch. Woo Hoo! I dutifully set it for 4 minutes running/1 minute walking and headed off from the start line with my sister and niece.

I did tell them to run on ahead of me because I knew I was feeling slow.¹ Since it's spring and allergy season,² and I've been feeling a little gunky lately, ³ I wasn't expecting much today.⁴ Not to mention the inhaler in my hand ⁵ just in case I needed it.

At the first mile marker, they called out a 13:49 split - but since it took a full minute to cross the start line⁶ and this wasn't a chip timed race, I knew my time would actually be better than posted. At the turn around they had run out of water, and I was starting to parch⁷ (not to mention that I really needed a blue can of death because I had to pee ⁸ since the race started). The third water station had run out of cups and I had to have them pour water in my hand ⁹ so I was dying out there.


It's amazing I was even capable of doing this after a stressful couple of weeks of little to no sleep.¹⁰ So is it any wonder I ran 5 miles in 1:07 instead of the 1:00 I wanted and the 1:05 I estimated?

Here's the truth: it was a beautiful run. Yes there were glitches at the water stations, but truth be told, I hadn't run since the Cohasset 10k 3 weeks ago (until the other day). I managed to get 7 miles in, but they were a tough 7 miles of basically restarting. Yes, at this stage of the game I should be able to do better, but I dropped the ball and it shows. The good news in all this, I did go out and I did manage to finish the race in spite of my short comings. As a result, I now can sit down and figure out what's what in terms of getting ready for the Harpoon 5 miler in June and any races in between. Perhaps that's why I'm being drawn to this, in other sports you can "get lucky" or phone it in, but when the only thing that counts is how you move your body from point A to point B, there's no such thing as luck. There is only Zool the reflection of the work you put into it. Today I saw myself clearly and it wasn't exactly the picture I wanted to see, but it was the one I needed to see.

Now there is no other direction but forward, full speed ahead.

Is it odd...

that I named my running shoes Thing 1 and Thing 2? I needed a way to tell them apart and that sort of made sense....

I did go out and run first thing this morning, which was nice. I'm glad that spring is here and I can do that again. I managed get a 5k distance in around the neighborhood, which then allowed me to a chance to see where I was at in terms of yesterday. It was a leap and bound better than where I was, but still a long way to go to where I was at in Hyannis.

I did keep to the run/walk intervals - my hope being that once I can get a rhythm going again I can start going for speed. That star reading "10 minute mile" is still hanging in plain site over my desk. It's there to remind me that I can achieve that time with work and training. I know I can.

Today is one of those jam packed days of frenzied insanity - so I'm off to shower and get running in a different way. If nothing else, at least I get to have lunch at Fenway, always something to look forward to. I also have tickets to Monday's game (woo hoo) and will just keep my eyes open for the occasional ticket or two.

Now if only a race had a pair of lower boxes behind the first base line... then I'd have an incentive to burn up the roads. :D

The Happiest Song Ever

Today was my first run since the Cohasset race on 4/1. Mr. Pi had his first home lacrosse game and since I had to drive him halfway across town to the field for warm ups an hour before the game, I mapped out a four mile route and figured I'd go for a run while they got ready.

One thing I didn't think about checking was elevation charts after I mapped the run. I started hitting an incredibly steep hill, leveling off a bit, climbing some more, leveling off before another short climb and then a humungous downhill before circling back around on level ground.

The good thing is, because I bought a spiffy purple Ironman watch I decided that my first run back should be run/walks and did 4 minutes running/1 minute walking to complete a 5k distance and then, depending on how I was feeling, I could use the last mile to either walk or run.

One problem - I didn't quite figure out how to make the interval timer work. D'oh!

But I did keep a close eye as I ran down the street listening to the B52's - which is the happiest band ever. You just can't be depressed listening to the B52's and "Love Shack" is the happiest song of all. My Nike+ was giving me 1/2 mile checks, which was nice, and the first two miles full of major hills were a little rough but certainly comfortable. Just after the 2.5 mile mark the realization that I just hadn't had enough water today kicked in. I felt my lips start to tighten, my legs get a little weak and my breathing a little labored. So I adjusted to 2 minutes running/2 minutes walking until I hit the 5k mark for a 38 minute 5k. Not my best and not my worst time, but I did it and that's what was important.

I figured I wouldn't push the last mile and just walk, but then "Love Shack" came on and I just can't be glum when it's "Love Shack" - it is the happiest song by the happiest band. Once that started up (15 miles to the Looooooove Shack!) I happily ran down the street towards the lacrosse field, finishing up just a couple of minutes after the game started.

Mr. Pi got goalie time in the 4th quarter. The defense did their job and kept the pressure on the opposing team, so he didn't have to do any work really. He has two more games this week - one home and one away. So I'm looking forward to catching at least one of them, if not both.

I'm looking to get a run in tomorrow and then Sunday's the Doyle's Emerald Necklace. Gazelle Boy will probably fly over the course yet again while I trot along in the back listening once again to the happiest band ever.

Chocolate Bananna Smoothies

Ok, so everyone I know is into smoothies. I hear about folks who start their days with all sorts of exotic fruit concoctions magically blended to give them a start to their day.

So I picked up a some smoothie base and figured, "I'll have a chocolate bananna smootie and see what the fuss is about."

OK - first of all, no one told me that when you freeze banannas, you should peel them first. If you have ever tried to peel a frozen bananna, you understand why. Instead, here I am after another sleepless night peeling a freakin' bananna over the sink with a knife because the skin is stuck onto the bananna - which is freezing my hand because the thing is frozen solid.

The other thing is the whole "Oh, to make it thick, you want to make sure you put in ice" advice I've received. I carefully pour my milk into my blender, then add the smoothie base, the bananna and about 1/2 a tray of ice cubes. I cover up the blender and press the button and...

nothing.

The motor sort of makes a "what are you stupid or something?" noise. Hmm... let's try the blend instead of the frappe setting. The thing is still laughing at me. OK, let's try the "grind" setting on the food processor side. SUCCESS! Finally I can see the ice starting to break up and shift around as the screaming motor noise rips through the moring silence.

It looks good for a moment or two and then nothing. No movement, just a lot of noise.

"Damn!" I think, "Not again." I frantically push buttons but nothing happens. I turn off the blender, sigh and pull a spoon out of the drawer to see how chunk this thing is only to be surprised it's fully blended. It's just so freakin' thick you need a spoon to eat it.

*sigh*

It wasn't bad, but I did find out I'm not a big chocolate bananna combo fan. I may try some frozen berries in there next time, but I'm also thinking I should have bought a plain or vanilla base rather than chocolate. Maybe I'll just throw in a dash of vanilla to cut through the overpowering chocolate base to see what happens.

One thing I do know - six ice cubes and a frozen bananna equals one thick assed shake.

Time to run

I haven't run in a week. Between getting everything done for the start of the Little League season (if anyone ever asks you to step up as president of your local little league - use your running skills to run far away in the opposite direction), everything going on with my dad and planning my trip to Florida to help out down there - for some reason I just haven't felt like doing anything more than curling up on the couch to do sudokus.

It's really kind of pathetic to be that overwhelmed. It happens on occasion, but it's been rough battling through it. In fact, yesterday Mr. Bear finally said something he never says, "Why don't you go for a run?"

Today is Little League field day - where we rake up winter debris and such before next Saturday's opening day. If we end early enough, and after Mr. Pi's lacrosse game, I'm coming home and going for a run before heading into the Boston Marathon expo.

But first it's time to arm myself with rakes and bags and go clean a baseball field.

Evil Hills vs Pika - Let's Call it a Draw

Let me just say I was not ready for this race and it became quickly apparent to me that finishing dead last today would be an accomplishment.

Let's start with Thursday when I went out for just over 4 miles through the neighborhood. I had mapped out a course with lots of hills to get ready for today's race. The first 3 miles were fine but then my running shoe began to dig into the fleshy part under my right big toe. To be honest, I've been using these shoes pretty heavily since August and knew they were towards the end of their life span - but I hadn't expected that to happen a mile from home.

About the same time, I realized I was going to need to do the runner's butt clench for the last part of the run. Damn! The last mile was tough - my stomach was complaining loudly and my foot was starting to hurt. I ran in the door, up the stairs and straight into the bathroom. What I hadn't realized was that I had some sort of stomach bug or something and - long story short - I got a lot of reading done.

I took Friday off instead of doing another 4 miler to replenish whatever my body lost. The salt cravings were truly odd for me as I'm not a big salt person, but I did listen and took it easy.

Saturday I found out my dad was in the hospital. His good kidney is not a happy camper and I know he will refuse dialysis. My head was not in a happy space but I also knew that if I didn't get out and run, I'd go crazy. I ended up going out for a mile, making sure to hit a couple of hills in the neighborhood, but my heart wasn't in it and I just came home.

Then came today's race. I know those Cohasset hills well from my teen years (when I was half the woman I am today - literally) and rode my bike over them without a second thought. Thirty years has a way of sneaking up on you and, to be honest, I knew there would be some walking involved.

I met up with one of my brothers, my older sister and two of my nieces. At the starting line, we bumped into my cousin - who is the type of guy Gazelle Boy would love running with - so it was a family affair. To be honest, between the disappointment of missing the Cherry Blossom 10 miler in DC, the fear of the Cohasset hills and my dad, I know my heart just wasn't fully there. But I was excited to run by the ocean that I love in a spot that evokes strong memories of freedom for me.

My niece lead us all in 3 minutes of running/1 minute of walking. Those first two miles were just over 11 minutes each - which is over a full minute faster than my fastest pace. About 25 minutes into the race, I knew I couldn't keep it up and told them to run ahead. My sister decided to hang back with me and she let me the speed. We walked a big chunk of the race, running down hills and other spots... but mostly we walked and talked.

Around the 3.5 mile mark, my legs felt like rubber. I could feel some creeping crud in my lungs and I just hadn't realized how much Thursday's stomach bug knocked out of me. To be honest, had she not been with me, I may have ditched early. So I'm truly grateful for her company because it really pulled me through. Around the 4 mile mark, my right foot began to cramp and at the 5 mile mark, the insole of my left shoe began digging into my instep.

Again, I've been using these shoes heavily since October and I knew they were starting to hit their expiration date, but still a surprise to have it happen then and there (and all the way home for that matter). Can we say time for shoe shopping?

We came up on the finish and crossed together. We actually had a pretty respectable time of 1:23 and change. In fact, in spite of everything, it looks like I PR'd at this race! Who knew?

I will challenge these hills again and next time I will do better. So I'll call today a draw and keep training for the Doyle's and Harpoon 5 milers, the James Joyce Ramble and the Johnny Kelley Memorial.

Two Down, Eight to Go

I was supposed to go out for four miles today - then life happened, again.

So I figured I had to squeeze a run in where ever I could and, knowing the evil hill awaits me on Sunday, I decided to squeeze in another evil hill. Because New England is full of such things, I found an evil hill not far from Heartbreak Hill. This discovery has the same sort of roll up and down and then WHAM there it is - an almost vertical wall daring you to just try and make it all the way up without stopping just like the hill in Cohasset. (See the elevation profile I added.)

For my training run, the hill was shortly after the 1 mile mark rather than the three mile mark, but I was more interested in the idea of the intensity. I made it over the initial up/down roll before hitting that wall and ran a quarter of a mile up the hill when my body said, "That will do Donkey, that will do."

It was encouraging actually quite encouraging - I made it a quarter of a mile up a huge hill after running over some interesting rolling hill-like bumps (compared to that puppy).

One thing I hadn't factored in for this run was the amount of auto exhaust when you run on main roads in the middle of the day. I'm used to running paths, less traveled roads and roads shut down on race day. While this wasn't entirely new, it did catch me off guard a little. Even in a liberal community filled with fuel efficient vehicles and hybrids, I think I sucked more exhaust for the mile I was on main roads than I have in months.

But the good news is, I got a quarter of a mile up a hill I didn't know I could walk up until today. Tomorrow I'll do a neighborhood 4 miler - the one I would have done today had I the time/chance to do so. Even with it's hills, it's not even enough to be more than an annoyance and I'll get another 4 miler (minimum) in this week as well before Sunday's 10k.

At the end of the day, all that really matters is do I feel I did it? Today is one of those days where I say, "yeah, I nailed it."

In Training

I am sad. I can't run the Cherry Blossom 10 miler next week because there's no way I can leave Mr. Bear alone for a weekend when he's only able to start putting weight on his foot the day I was planning on heading to DC. So I'm signing up for the Cohasset Race by the Sea 10k with the evil hill and dragging him to Cohasset with me. If I can't go to DC and run among the cherry blossoms, he's going to hang out in Cohasset while go for a run along the ocean.

Now comes the next question - I'm on track to run the half marathon at the Johnny Kelley memorial this year; however, I promised someone I'd do the Lowell Spinners run the day before that. So the question then becomes, can I run a 2 mile race on Saturday and a half on Sunday. Then there is that piece of me that wants to run the 5k of the Kelley race so I can compare it to where I was last year when I ran that race. I could also use the 10k race to compare myself to the Hyannis race a few weeks ago, as it's the same course.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

In the meantime, yesterday I ran a beautiful 5 miles from Newton City Hall to BC to train for the evil hill. I also saw something incredibly sweet while running. The hill was lousy with runners - many training for Boston. I expected to see that on a Saturday afternoon... no biggie. There was this one guy who jetted past me on the up hill. You know the type - he eats hills for breakfast - runner's body with his singlet and shorts, camelback, gloves and hat. He passed me coming down the hill and jetted past me again just before I turned around.

On my way down the hill, there was a woman running slightly faster than me and then Mr. Hills jetted past me again and when he reached the woman, he stopped, gave her a kiss and then slowed down to run down the hill with her. That's when it hit me, while she was doing her training run, he was doing his hill repeats until she was ready to finish up. There was something really wonderful about watching that scene - watching two people find a way to work out together even though they were really in different places. It was such a warm moment and it was just sweet witnessing it.

That one moment turned a satisfying 5 miles into something better. When I ran past the Johnny Kelley statue, I told him to put 5 in the book for me today and I'll see him again this week. I could imagine him telling me I better.

I'll probably go out for a little run through the neighborhood this afternoon after it clears up a bit. After all this is Boston. Yesterday I ran in 50* weather, went to bed after a line of snow/rain/mush hit and woke up to the sun shining and the snow melting.

The Running of the Irish

Today was the Ras Na Heireann USA - a 5k race that is run in Somerville, MA as well as in Ireland. (Literally - according to the internet dictionary I found - the running of the Irish, idiomatically - the race of the Irish.) I like calling it the running of the Irish... it makes the race sound, I don't know - cooler I guess.

Now a week ago it was beautiful out. Spring was certainly in the air as the temperatures got as high a 70* and I was loving it. Then Friday a Nor'easter blew threw and dumped about 6-8" of snow. I was NOT loving that. Not only that the predicted near 50* temps for today began to decline until this morning the prediction was for the low 40's. It's 2:18 and just hit 30* - which means it was below freezing when the race started at 11 am. Since Nini is in England right now, her mom was there at the starting line with me and Gazelle Boy was way ahead in the front of the pack... no surprises there.

Because Gazelle Boy left his inhaler in the car, I gave him mine and borrowed a cell phone to call Mr. Bear and ask him to be waiting with Gazelle Boy's for when I ran by.

Within a quarter mile or so, I told my sister I'd see her at the finish line and let her run ahead. I was feeling a little slow today - maybe it was the weather, maybe it was just all the stress and such of the week catching up with me. But the idea of relaxing and taking my time was fine with me. After all, there 3200 registered runners, there's no way I'd be last so no worries on my end.

As we ran up the hill on Holland Street out of Davis Square, there was a pipe band playing, which made me happy. I'm not sure why, but it did. As we ran past the fire station, the firefighters would sound the siren and beep the horn. As we turned and came down College Hill (Powderhouse Blvd), there were people on their porches cheering for us, again, one of those things that just felt great. We came down through Powderhouse Circle and started up Broadway, where my brother in law waited with my inhaler since maneuvering around the road on crutches was a bit too tricky for Mr. Bear.

About that point there was a guy who reminded me of Scotty Dog from the Runner's World forums. For that last mile, I stuck with him while we did run/walks until the end of the race. It really was a pleasant way to finish up the race and I earned that sweaty hug at the end. According to my Nike+ I averaged a 12:37 mile. I do know my final time was 40:30 - but that was gun time. I have no idea what my chip time is yet as the only race up is the Southie St. Patrick's day race.

I should add they gave us a way cool medal with the race logo and it doubles as a bottle opener. More medals should be this cool!

I linked up with my sister. We couldn't find Gazelle Boy, so we figured he must have gone back to Ball Square to find us.

Once there, we couldn't find our husbands. So we ducked into one of the race party locations - The Powderhouse Pub - and didn't see them. I borrowed a cellphone (again) and called Mr. Bear to find out they were in a coffee house across the street. My sister and I grabbed a beer and then headed over to find the men folk. While debating what to do, since no one had seen Gazelle Boy, someone looked up and said, "There he is." He was across the street looking for us.

My sister took off, and Mr. Bear managed to hobble out of the coffee shop when I told him we were picking up some Zeppolis for St. Joseph's day (which is tomorrow... and it's my dad's birthday). I ran into my sister at the bakery, who was picking up a Zeppoli to ship down to my dad, so I ended up only getting enough for desert tomorrow night.

I have to admit, I liked this race but I was glad to get home to a warm house. I haven't decided if I want to soak in a hot bubble bath or take a hot shower... I'll figure that out in a few minutes when I amble into the bathroom and decide there.

Traffic Jam

Well, since the 25th hour was recalled early this year, I didn't get out to Heartbreak Hill until a little on the later end of things this morning. When I parked at City Hall, I was surprised that there weren't that many cars there - usually there are about a half dozen or so when I get there. I guess people are adjusting to the time change.

I set the Nike+ to a 5k distance and was off.

Out on the road, there they all were - runners on their own, dog walkers, fitness walkers, running clubs - you name it. The carriage road along Commonwealth Avenue was just packed with runners everywhere in ones, pairs, groups and otherwise. There were parents with strollers, dogs being walked and dogs running with their humans. In fact, I saw one beautiful Golden out there pulling his human along at a fairly good clip, it was kind of amusing to see the struggle of the runner who wasn't quite up to their dog's speed.

Of course the dog was faster than me, but that's OK.

After spending a season on a treadmill, I am beginning to recognize profound differences that, while subtle, really are noticable. For example, if I start to drag a little on the treadmill, the belt will pull me along. If I need to speed up or slow down on the street, it doesn't involve pushing any buttons - just adjusting my stride. But the main difference was the breeze.

See when you sweat on a treadmill, there's no breeze to help blow it off your face or dry you off a bit. Outside, between the wind resistance and any breeze or wind blowing, the change is huge. The good thing about the treadmill though was working on my speed. I ran a consistent pace today around the 12:30 mark without straining, fatigue or breathing issues. If I hadn't gone ankle deep in a puddle passing the Johnny Kelley statue on my way down the hill, I might have gone on for another mile or so towards the fire station and back.

Next Sunday is the Ras Na Heireann and I'm psyched because I'm going to spend a couple of days running outside this week just getting ready. If the rain comes through as planned, then I'll spend some time on the treadmill looking forward to running in the fresh air once again before having a run, a pint and some potato leek soup. Then I'll be in a real congestion of 2700 runners taking a scenic tour of Somerville.

But today was all about the company and joy of a good run up Heartbreak Hill.

Breath of Fresh Air

It is 50* outside, so I tied up my shoes and went outside for a run through the neighborhood. Not a long one - just down a few streets I normally don't run along - to be outside again. I ran up and down a few hills and around in a circle to log just over 1.5 miles over 20 minutes.

It was glorious. I averaged a 12:24 pace - not bad for not being on a motorized belt rolling over a flat surface.

I saw kids playing a games of street hockey in their driveway, shooting hoops, playing catch and riding bikes. It was as if something knocked on the door and said, "Can you come out and play?"

It was a good run and every so often, you just need a short one through the neighborhood to remind you that every time you back out of the driveway, you're just taking a scenic route home.

Recommended Speed

Today I remembered my towel and hit the treadmill again for a pleasant run. I did start nudging up the speek and incline - which had me a little tired after a couple of miles, so I guess I should do one or the other and not both. Of course, if the warming trend is a reality, I'll be able to run outside and the speed of the treadmill will be a moot point.

At one point I was running along and realized I was running faster than the treadmill because I was running in time with the music.

I began to think of all the times people told me treadmills were inaccurate, but I wonder if what was really happening was they were running at a different pace than the belt was moving. It's more like the speed of the belt is a recommended rather than an actual speed, which makes sense to me. It also makes sense why the Nike+ is always slightly ahead or behind the treadmill even though I tend to use the same treadmill whenever I can.


In the end, it was a good run. I'm psyched to run outdoors and, since I bought a new bike today:






I'm even more excited. All in all, it was a happy day and we all need a happy day every so often - especially when it's so cold outside.

Always Know Where Your Towel Is

This is rule number two if you're hitchhiking through the galaxy on 20 Altarian dollars a day. (Rule number one: don't panic.)

I thought about rule number two a lot today because I left the towel I usually drape over the blinking numbers on the treadmill behind today. I hadn't realized how much those numbers get to me until they weren't covered up. I would look up at the TV and run for a while, thinking I must have gone almost a mile only to realize it had been 3 minutes... no such luck.

Not to mention the fun layer of sweat pouring down my face at one point that I couldn't really wipe off because I didn't have my stupid towel.

I did manage to get 2.5 miles or so in today, so I'm not complaining so much as noting how hard it was knowing instead of being pleasantly surprised when I pulled the towel off to see where I was at.

I'm hoping to get a run in tomorrow. One thing we do know for sure: in the future I will remember rule number two and ALWAYS know where my towel is.

Up the Hill

I wanted to run outside today. It's March and I want to reclaim outdoors after last Sunday - so I figured I'd go for a couple of miles on Heartbreak Hill to celebrate that spring is around the corner.

Unfortunately I no longer have the mental checklist I did last December - primarily my inhaler. Running outdoors around or slightly below the freezing mark isn't a problem if I have it with me, but when I don't you get runs like today where I was did fine for the first 3/4's of a mile and then my chest began to tighten... which is when I realized I forgot something.

Not wanting to end up in trouble later, instead of pushing myself I just turned around, walked back to the car and headed home. It wasn't a failed run, more of a reminder that I have a checklist and I need to run through it before walking out the door. Now that I've remembered that piece of information it won't be long before I'm up early, out the door and going for long stretches up the hill and back again to start the day.

Take that Lumpy...

... or why running for Jenny is working.

Jenny is someone I know through the beginners forum at Runners World online. A lawyer, Civil War buff and incredible runner, Jenny noticed a large lump on the left side of her abdomen one day. Turns out her lymph nodes went a little kerflewey and Lumpy - as she named her mass - and his offspring Lumpy, Jr. needs 16 rounds of chemo to KO their asses and evict them for (hopefully) good.

A bunch of us began running for Jenny, especially when it was hard for her because she felt betrayed by her body as well as the physical complication from Lumpy and Lumpy, Jr. In fact, another forumite began a "Take that Lumpy" challenge for those of us with Nike+ units and Candi posts regular updates at to the total mileage a group of us have run for Jenny.

The other day at the finish line in Hyannis, I was talking to a woman while I waited for Gazelle Boy and told her about running for Jenny. She asked, "So how does it help a woman in Ohio because you ran a 10k today?" I said the moral support, the psychological support of knowing there are people pulling for you and, I truly believe, that it changes things in ways we don't often perceive. I know that if I had just undergone my first round of chemo and knew someone was out there running for me, it would be easier to close my eyes and picture some of my favorite runs while undergoing treatment.

She gave a sort of "whatever" reaction. I know that when my legs began to quiver after 4 miles, one of the things that went through my head was, "If Jenny can withstand chemo, I can finish this race and finish it strong."

Yesterday Jenny posted the following:

"LUMPY IS GONE!

Lumpy measured 12 cm by 14 cm. He took up my ENTIRE left side, from my hip bone up to right under my rib cage, all the way across to my navel. He compressed my kidney, displaced my stomach, pancreas, guts, and liver. He never hurt, but you could feel him because he was very hard.

Today, I poked and prodded, and ..... no Lumpy. The left side of my stomach is nice and soft like the right side.

I am sure all of Lumpy isn't gone yet, but the "visible" part is. And that is definitely a good thing."

Is Lumpy gone because of us running or the first round of treatment? I can't say, but I truly and honestly believe when you have that much positive energy being sent your way, your spirit can't help but smile and say, "thanks, I needed that."

Pika Food

Being someone who loves to cook (and loves to eat), I figured I'd start a separate blog and post what I made for dinner that night. Because I know a bunch of folks on Weight Watchers, I'll include WW Points for folks doing Flex and the Core symbol if it's a Core food.

So whenever I make something new, I'll add the recipe and you can just click on the link in the sidebar to see what I'm cooking up in the kitchen.

Hyannis 10K

I ran this with great trepidation. I had been looking forward to this race but things kept getting in the way. First I was on track for training for the half marathon; however, I got that nasty case of bronchitis that sidelined me. So I downgraded to the 10k.

Training has been spotty at best for a variety of reasons and, when Mr. Bear broke his ankle last week, it looked like I wasn't going to be able to make it. This week I was only able to get one run in - 4.3 miles on the treadmill that felt OK, not great. The other night Mr. Bear and I had a talk. He was scared I'd fall and hurt myself but understood I needed to run and, even if I didn't run, I needed to be at Gazelle Boy's first half marathon.

Knowing I had maybe 4 or so miles in me, I was conflicted. Do I run or not? I had some high hopes for myself - what to do? I decided to run figuring, if necessary, I'd take walking breaks. I was about right in my estimates about myself. Shortly after the 4 mile mark my quads said, "Yeah, you do realize we're not as used to this as we should be." So I walked a little. One thing that I did find out was my training theory was on the mark. During the walk break, a song came on that I've been running to on the treadmill and - when I double checked the iPod/Nike+ - it turned out that I ran at my treadmill pace to the music. So when I want to push myself to the next speed, I'll pick a new album and train to it while I run at the next speed on the treadmill.

About halfway through the race, an older woman began pacing with me. We exchanged some pleasant words about the weather (which was perfect for running), the race, running - you know the typical things you talk to folks about during a race. After a kilometer or so, she kicked up her speed and kept going. Just when I started walking during the 4 mile mark, a woman who had been trading spots with me up until that point took her walk break as well. When she found out I was only doing the 10k instead of the half she said, "Oh no, what will I do for pacing when you head to the finish?"

I said I'm sure she'd find someone and we chatted a little more before I took off running. The end of the race was a little chaotic. The fast finishers for the half marathon were coming in just as I was heading up the tail end of the 10k pack for the last half mile or so. Knowing my speed was never going to match theirs, I kept to the right of the road. Some of the runners would then pass others would grumble at me as they veered away from me at the last possible second. I know when you're particularly focused that a slow runner in your path can be frustrating but I had a right to be on the road as well and I clung stubbornly to it.

In the end, I crossed in 1:26:11 (according to my iPod). Which was pretty close to what the chip time was as well. Considering my initial goal was 1:15 and then my training fell down and I almost didn't run today, I'll take it. Gazelle Boy finished his first half in 1:58 and change. Not bad for a kid who didn't train at all and tripped over his own feet at the 11 mile mark. He may have sprained his wrist when he did that - so I guess Mr. Bear's fear was a bit of a premonition as well.

I will say this, it felt good to be back outside on the street. I'm looking forward to my 5k in a couple of weeks and will set up a training schedule for the Cherry Blossom 10 miler a month from now. I'm pretty confident I can cover that distance now that I have this 10k under my belt.

Countdown

Sunday is the Hyannis Marathon, Half Marathon and 10k. My original thought last Thanksgiving was to run the half. Being sick knocked me off kilter so I downgraded to the 10k. Then, when Mr. Bear slipped on the ice and broke his ankle - he became scared I would follow suit if I ran. But last night we talked it through so it looks like I'm running Sunday.

Just to make sure I could handle it - since my training's been spotty at best - I spent an hour on the treadmill today. In that time I covered 4.3 miles - 1 mile of it walking at 3.5 mph and the rest of it running. I'm feeling good about that since it brings me in about the same time I did for the Tufts 10K last October. It's not a fantastic time, but it is a respectable one.

I'll probably spend some time on the treadmill again tomorrow and take Saturday off but bottom line is I'm stoked for Sunday - my first race of the year.

Slippery When Frozen

After a decent week of deadmill time, I haven't run in a few days because Mr. Bear slipped on the ice in the driveway and broke his ankle.

So the past few days have been about getting him settled and cared for - which puts my running on hold. He was pretty scared about me running on Sunday because he's worried I'll slip and fall on the ice in Hyannis and then both of us will be out of commission - but he's starting to calm down a bit about that fear. So it's looking like I may be going down, but it's unsure as to whether I'll run or not.

Last night we talked it through and he's a bit more comfortable with the idea. He said that I could go to the local gym (the meat market) to run since the boys are home this week for vacation and they've been pretty good when I've gone out to do things like food shopping or run errands. He feels badly that I'm missing yoga and have to go to the meat market, but I'll go during the off hours so that I don't have to deal with the idiots and use the yoga DVDs I have.

So today I'm planning on trying a long run at the gym and taking it from there. I figure if I can get a long run in today and tomorrow, I should be fine for Sunday.

Bend, Fold, Spindle or Mutilate

I know it's New England, but I've never been a fan of cold and ice. So far there's one sprained wrist in the house (Mr. Bear's) from a fall on the ice last week and yesterday could have been number two with my spill. Fortunately, I immediately began using some Arnica Cream on the spot and today things feel fine.

It's one of those homeopathic creams that's supposed to reduce swelling and bruising. All I know is it kept me from looking like a Klingon last October when I walked into the sign post and it seems to have worked it's magic again.

Because of the snow and ice, I was late getting into the gym - which meant I had a 15 minute run instead of a 35 minute one if I wanted to go to yoga. It was a good run. In fact I was 10 minutes into it before I was sweating enough to use the towel. Draping a towel over the control panel makes all the difference in the world.

Of course being back in the comfy gym where most everyone is older and less likeyl to be calling me names just makes up for seeing myself from a dozen different angles in the mirrors. At least I wasn't undulating today.

I needed yoga today. I needed to bend and fold my body (hell, after "mutilating" it yesterday in the fall and I don't even want to think about spindles....). We didn't work on a lot of postures today but each twist was pretty intense and in depth. I'm glad I went. It was a great relief.

Tomorrow I meet with the trainer. I was tempted to back out... I don't like going in for special trips, but I think I need to get out or else I'll be on the couch all day. So I'll get a long run in before the session and then let Tony abuse me for 45 minutes. Besides, it gives me the chance to buy some yarn on the way home and work on a sweater I'm crocheting.

Current 10 days show race day should be in the low 40's - which is the low side of where I like the temp when I'm running. Now if only the ice would clear up. I suppose in July I long for days like today, but in the meantime, I'm longing for far more temperate days. Good thing I have the gym, at least I've been able to get my running in.

Stand Up, Stand Up

After yesterday's snow day, I needed to run... badly. So after picking up Mr. Pi at school, I dropped him and headed for the meat market - I mean the Brighton branch of my gym. Fortunately I hit in an off hour, so I didn't have to deal with giggling 20 somethings taking great delight at who expected to get a ring yesterday (but didn't) and discussing my size in a stage whisper while I'm right there.

The other night I did come close to saying, "Um girls, I'm fat - not deaf. By the way, I can't wait to see you after a couple of kids in 20 years..."

Going in the off hours are nice - only a handful of folks watching Oprah while they're chugging away on the elliptical and a few of the serious weightlifters who can do their work outs without having to deal with guys who read a couple to many issues of "Mens Health."

To me, I wanted to push past the 30 minute mark in my running today. The short goal was 35 and the big goal was 40 minutes at a 12 min pace. I made it a little bit past the 35 minute mark when I threw in the towel and hit the cool down button. It felt pretty good, not as good as the other night, but it felt good.

I felt strong.

What made it better was an incident that happened just before my workout. I realized I forgot a running bra, so I ran next door to New Balance to get one. About 10' away from the store entrance was an ice block frozen solid to the sidewalk that I didn't see and I went flying. I scraped my hand up a bit, but I stood up and kept going. I didn't make excuses to myself, went back into the club and got on the treadmill to run. So yes, strong is a good word for today.

Tomorrow is yoga, so I think I'll go in early and go 40 minutes at the 12 minute pace and then I'll be ready to just twist, stretch and cool down.

I love deadlines

Especially the "whooshing" noise they make as they go flying past.

The only thing worse than busting your butt to make deadline is when your editor decides to hold off a week without telling you. I didn't need to be making phone calls and doing research to the intensity I did if I had known I had another week. :grr:

I hadn't been running lately. I'm not sure why beyond a combination of dreading running on a treadmill and the extra bonus of doing so in front of that damn set of mirrors. But the other day I sucked it up, stopped making excuses and hopped on to run a solid 20 minutes at a 12 minute pace.

It felt good. In fact, it felt so good that last night I braved the meat market environment of the closer branch of the health club and did a solid 30 mnutes at a 12 minute pace. No playing with speeds, times or anything else. I just set the pace and time, threw my towel over the panel, put on the iPod and started running.

They say running is psychological, so I figured maybe it's time to think about applying psychology to my running.

Over the season I've been playing with training techniques. For example, I use different BPM mixes from DJ Steveboy to monitor speed and rhythm. Right now, because I've been running pretty exclusively on the treadmill, I'm trying to "reprogram" myself right now. I listen to the same album on the mill, Soulfarm's Unwind, to see if I can associate the music with the steady pace on the treadmill. My hope - and I will be testing this on the 25th - is that I will associate the pace with the music when I'm on the road. It's a technique called anchoring, associating two things together - or anchoring them - to create a predictable reaction.

If nothing else, it's an interesting experiment.

Today it's snowing and the kids are home from school. (C'mon people, it's New England, we should be able to handle a little snow.) I'll give a call over to the health club in a bit to see if there's yoga class, if so I'm braving the elements to head in. It's funny how I've grown to love my yoga classes and how happy I was when I realized my heels reach the floor on my downward facing dog and other moves I can now do that I couldn't a month ago.

If there's no yoga today then I'll probably head into the meat market to do some time on the treadmill there where I'll set the time for 40 minutes and a 12 minute pace.

Happy Valentine's Day y'all.

Some Days the Bear Manages You

As the old saying goes: some days you manage the bear and some days the bear manages you.

That's what ran through my head on the treadmill the other day when I ran a solid mile and a quarter at a 12 minute pace. Then I realized I had left my inhaler at home just as my chest began to tighten up a bit. I took it down to a walk and squeezed in another mile and a quarter before doing some circuit training on the weight machines in the woman's gym and then finished up with a yoga class.

Which was more than I thought I could do as I could barely walk Sunday - my butt was soooooooooo sore. Needless to say I didn't run either.

The past couple of days have been rough in that sort of "blah" way. You know, it's cold and gray and the last thing you want to do is go outside, let alone run. Add to it an endless slate of meetings, local politics and everything else - let's just say I chalked it up as needing a break for some reason.

I was planning on breaking out of the funk by going to yoga until the toilet seat fought back.

No, no... it's not what you're thinking. See, when you have 3 teen boys in the house, they tend to slam things. I think it's in part that they're unaware teens and in part that they don't know where their limbs end. The end result is I noticed the other day the toilet seat was cracked and picked up a new one. Unfortunately, the aches and stiffness from Friday's session took it's toll and I didn't get around to replacing the seat.

Then someone dropped it today and it cracked all the way through. No more putting it off. I took a screw driver and vice grips into the bathroom and set to work.

Unfortunately the screws on there had rusted (freakin' budget warehouse special!) and one screw head disintegrated and the other just was frozen to the point of being easily stripped the first time I applied any force. This meant calling in the MIT trained engineer (aka my DH, Mr. Bear). Immediately he evaluates the situation and brings in a couple of more screw drivers, pliers, WD 40, small file saw and a hammer.

("Hammer?!!" I'm thinking quickly calculating the cost of a new toilet for when he smashes the porcelain. Fortunately he didn't use it.)

All I needed was him to hold the screw in place so I could force the wingnut off. It was sort of like using an elephant gun where a BB gun would have sufficed, but the seat came off without damaging anything. I popped the new seat on and all is good again.

So I'll go out, do my midweek grocery shopping (the boys have polished off a pound of turkey breast, a pound of corned beef, a gallon of milk, 2 liters of soda water, pears, kiwi fruits, cookies and almost a full bunch of bannanas in less than 72 hours - teenagers) and feel a kinship across time to what my mother must have had to do back in the day with three teen boys in the house as well.

Fortunately none of my dump a half gallon of vanilla ice cream in a mixing bowl, break up a bag of oreos over it and then dump a bottle of chocolate syrup on top. But there are still days when I wonder if I should get a small freezer chest and start buying things like bagel bites and bagel dogs in bulk.

Tomorrow I will run - even if it's on a treadmill. I will also run Friday morning and feel back on track. That's good thing about these days when the bear manages me... it's a reminder that I can't always be the one in control.

Hurts So Good

It started as "one of those days..." The kids being kids, the husband being the husband and breaking two nails in the process. The strap on my gym bag ripped out of the seam (it was a freebie from the Red Sox - no great loss but still sad on many levels), so I ran into Target to get a new bag.

Ironically, that's were things began to turn around. I found another Mr. Pi birthday present on clearance (a desk lamp that you can plug your iPod into) as well as a new bag and picked up a yoga bag as well. By the time I got to the gym, I was pretty sure I was going to bag the last 3.5 mile run scheduled for the week - I just didn't have the time and I was till recovering from "the day" I was having earlier.

Yoga went long today. The instructor is used to doing a 90 minute class in a yoga studio rather than 60 in a health club. She again did a lot of work on opening the hips and twisting poses, which was good but I felt every single posture and not always in a happy way. Not in a bad way, but that sort of "son of a bitch I felt that one" sort of way.

Then I met with the trainer who put me through some serious paces today. A lot of calf work and a lot of opening up the hip flexors. By the end of the time, I was dying... again in that good way where my body is well aware it was working hard and not in a painful way.

At this point I knew I just couldn't squeeze the run in - it really would take too much time that I just didn't have at that point.

I also realized that all I had eaten today was some cheddar cheese on an english muffin. Not good at all. I need to make sure I'm fueled properly and for some reason, it slipped my mind today. So I treated myself to some fresh sushi and miso at the Japanese food court after my work outs. I was tempted to go for a beef bowl, but I didn't want to load down. The sushi & miso were just right.

I may try to squeeze the run in tomorrow - we'll see what the weather brings and how I'm feeling. I do have a 5 mile run scheduled for Sunday, so I may just punt it. I mean, I did 10.5 miles this week and it's the first week I've done more than a couple of miles total. There is something inside saying, "Take it easy girl" and perhaps that's why I've punted on the last run of the week.

In the mean time, I'm comfortable with what I did today. Tomorrow I may be cursing everyone and thing for putting me through my paces today, but for now I feel sore in a good way.

Word of the Day

[BEGINNING OF WARNING] Today's post may sound a bit negative... but it really isn't. It was just the stuff running through my head on the treadmill today. [END OF WARNING]

Today's word is: undulate...

definition courtesy of dictionary.com:

–verb (used without object)
1. to move with a sinuous or wavelike motion; display a smooth rising-and-falling or side-to-side alternation of movement: The flag undulates in the breeze.
2. to have a wavy form or surface; bend with successive curves in alternate directions.
3. (of a sound) to rise and fall in pitch: the wail of a siren undulating in the distance.
–verb (used with object)
4. to cause to move in waves.
5. to give a wavy form to.


Or, as I was thinking, "the mirror reflected my fat undulating on my hips, thighs and stomach as I ran 2 miles on the treadmill."

Again I ask: what sick bastard thought floor to ceiling mirrors were a good idea in a women's gym? What little self esteem I have at this point is seriously compromised watching the hypnotic ripple of my jiggling thighs as I shuffle along running a red queen's race - just the treadmill and me - from a multitude of angles: forward, both sides, diagonal angles and, thanks to the the mirrors on the back wall, behind.

Even with my glasses safely tucked away in my locker my nearsighted eyes can't escape the vision of my fat as it undulates. I am fascinated by its rippling motion as my inner loser takes delight in the scene.

"Here you thought you were so healthy. What was that mantra again? Faster, leaner, stronger? You can't take your eyes off the fat as it ripples at a 13 minute mile - is that the faster, leaner woman you see yourself as?"

The answer is yes, yes this is the stronger, leaner, faster woman I see in myself. You see, in spite of the morbid fascination with the mirrored reflection today, I am leaner than I was a year ago... or six months ago for that matter. I'm by no means where I'd like to be, but I am growing leaner.

I know I'm much faster than I was last spring when I might have been able to shuffle along at a 15 min/mile pace for a couple of minutes before slowing to a 3 mph walk. Now I regularly walk at my original running pace and I can run a respectable 12:30 range mile for 3 miles. It's not the 10 minute mile I'm working toward, but that will come as I continue training.

I'm most definately stronger as well. I can almost press my weight in a seated squat machine (which totally kicks ass in more ways than one), but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about today - in spite of the hypnotic site that beheld me, I kept going and didn't stop until I got my scheduled two miles in. It's that I even hopped on the treadmill in spite of leaving the Nike+ antenna on the desk this morning and knowing my run "didn't count" in terms of registering in challenges and goal totals. It's that after I ran the distance on the treadmill, I then went to the yoga class with the crazy twisty teacher... even though she had us working with straps today to "open the hips and sacrum."

I'm stronger because I could admit I needed to use the yoga brick in order to tuck one foot on my opposite hip and then balance enough to sweep down to the floor and then back up again. (OK, I swept down to the brick and back up again... but close enough.)

Once again the inner loser was held at bay - left to sulk in its corner with a lonely self-pity party. Me, I'd rather live my favorite Richard Scarry quote: "It was time to stop playing games. It was time to put on funny hats and eat ice cream."

Keep on Truckin' Baby

So far, so good this week. Yesterday I did a 1/2 hour of circuit weight work and my yoga class. I like Monday yoga, she's all about doing balance poses and, even though I don't feel like I'm working that hard, I always end up drenched in sweat by the time we're through.

Today winter finally arrived and it got cold. Because Gazelle Boy had his first driver's ed class from 6-8 tonight, I decided to do my 3.5 miles on the treadmill at the local branch of the health club. There's something really intimidating about a club filled with 20 something hard bodies shakin' their groove thang to find a date to go clubbing later. Every piece of equipment was full and I was on the last treadmill near the end.

About 20 minutes into my run, the vultures were circling for a free piece of equipment, trying to stare me down as I did my 10 minutes running/5 minutes walking paces. I kept doing my thing and by the time I was done, most of the posing and flexing had either moved to the weight equipment or moved out the door.

It really makes me appreciate the dozen or so folks that show up for the lunch time classes that I go to because... well, I like having room to move thankyouverymuch.

I suspect that I'll have to run there a few more times while it's cold - it happens. Who knows, maybe I'll get a good piece out of it.

Should Women Run?!

Athena had a link in her blog to an article by Michael Boyle called "Why (Most) Women Shouldn't Run" which, up front, said it was going to piss people off. Boyle's assertion is that elite women athletes look like men - narrow hips, smaller bust lines, etc. Regular women have the bad Q angles (the angle between the quad and the patella tendon... no Michael, I don't find such information "boring")

It is true that the higher the angle, the more likely you are to suffer knee problems from repetitious activity and overpronation, but these are common complaints of all runners - not just women runners.

He wrote a follow up piece at his website, "Should Women Run, Pt. 2" defending himself.

OK Michael, here's the deal: most people, male and female, think if they start running they will lose weight. It doesn't matter what their gender, their age, their body type or any other factor may be - running is viewed as a weightloss vehicle. The don't know from Q angles ... heck, most of them don't even know about different types of shoes and pay way too much money in the mall for whatever the pimply faced kid without a clue is selling that week.

If you view running as a lifestyle activity - and most people who make it through the first bit of training do, then you learn how to work and adapt your body in a way that it will continue to produce results with minimal injury.

It can be as simple as getting the proper pair of shoes. It can be as easy as a good cross training activity that helps strengthen or adjust the body to adapt. The argument that women have the wrong Q angles for running is the same as saying women with big chests aren't suited for yoga because the original yogis were males with little body fat and far more flexible than the average person. And yet I'd like to see you up against the instructor in the class I go to on Mondays. She doesn't look like a yogi but that woman can bend in positions I didn't think the body could do without damage.

My son is a runner - no two ways around it. Before he knew he was a runner, I knew he was one. I knew because I watched little league coaches instruct pitchers to walk the kid ahead of him (no matter how bad they were) so there would be someone to keep him from stealing second and third on the next two pitches. He couldn't hit, but he knew how to wait his pitch and he could run it out. Further, he taught himself to slide from watching games on TV and could slide into base on a cloud of dust and come up standing. As much as I wish he was a ball player, I knew he was really a runner and encouraged him to consider it.

I wasn't surprised when his high school coach declared, "He has the stride and attitude of an elite runner," when he was a freshman. I always knew that, it was just a question of Gazelle Boy knowing that.

But you know what, I'm a runner too. In spite of nature giving me round hips and a generous chest (which many people would pay big bucks to have leaving me confused and asking, "why?"), I am a runner.

A year ago I wouldn't have believed that but now I do. I believe it because I am one - I just didn't know it until last July. I knew it when I turned that corner in Quincy and saw the skyline of Boston at mile 2 of the Ryka Iron Girl 5K - my first real race - when I heard the Standells sing, "Oh, Boston you're my home." Suddenly, I realized I was home.

I was running and I could see the city that has always been my home and in that instant I knew that I had always been a runner and just never realized it until that exact moment.

While you may say, "Just wait until the injuries come...." I say name one athletic activity where injuries don't come. Swimming? Walking? Table tennis? C'mon, name one thing where you don't get injured for whatever reason. I'll tell you this much, the risk of injury is probably far less with me running than with me sitting in the recliner doing nothing.

So stop trying to force the "all runners strive to be elite runners" vision on those of us who are out there for other reasons.

We aren't idiots (for the record, your statement about not "boring" me with details about Q angles was far more offensive than your elitist conclusions about women and running) and we aren't running for conventional gold. We're running because we do listen to our bodies and our bodies will sometimes roar and sometimes whisper, "c'mon girl, time to lace up the shoes and let's go for a run...."

In those golden moments when it's me, the trail and my thoughts coming together I might as well be the first across the finish of Boston because it feels just as good.

Back on Track

My race is in 41 days and I set up a training schedule for myself based on that reality. So, in looking over Hal's plan, today is a 5 mile run and the last time I ran 5 miles was in early December... so I was a little nervous, but anxious to get running again as well.

Then I awoke to rain and cold. I knew I had to run and was mentally steeling myself to do so when Mr. Bear suggested he drop me at the health club while he went to church and he'd pick me up aftwards. That worked for me - even if it meant running 5 miles on a treadmill (ugh!).

The point of today was to remind myself I could run and that five miles was a doable distance. I wasn't out to break records or anything like that, I was out to do 5 miles, and I did. I never let myself go below 3.5 miles/hr for walking time and I pushed myself to try some "fartleks" at a 10 min/mile pace.

Lessons I learned today:

- There are few things in life more humbling than watching yourself run on a treadmill in front of a full length mirror. I'm not sure which sadistic bastard thought of that, but it was pretty freakin' twisted.

- When you spray the equipment with disinfectant and wipe it down after using it in a health club - do folks a favor and point it AWAY from them. Because the woman on the ellipitical next to the treadmill sprayed across the elliptical towards me, I got nailed with the spray... as did my water bottle. (Guess that's going in the dishwasher tonight... grrrr!)

- My lungs can handle 5 miles now. No coughing, hacking up crud or anything like that. They're clear again. Hooray!

- My legs are still a little weak and I walked more than I would have liked; however, they lasted the full 5 miles and that's a good thing.

On tap for this week:

Monday: Yoga & strength work
Tuesday: 3.5 mile run
Wednesday: 2 mile run, yoga & light weight work
Thursday: 3.5 mile run
Fri: Yoga & trainer
Sat: rest

Surprise!

Today I met with the personal trainer to begin working out a routine/schedule.

Now most folks would think I'm in my mid-30's rather than my later 40's, but there's no mistaking me for anything other than someone in their middle years. I'm also (to use the polite term) zaftig. So by looking at me, there are assumptions made and I know it.

The trainer and I met over the phone, so his initial questions were based on "getting to know" me. What were my goals, did I have a plan and those sorts of things. I'm sure when he saw me, there was something in the back of his mind going, "Right - this woman thinks she's gonna run a half..."

We went through the paperwork, contracts, questionaires and so on before heading out onto the floor to do a general fitness test. Using one of those half ball thingies, I did some lunges and squats. I did some weight work with hand weights and a stability ball and a few other things to put me through my paces. Then he did some assisted stretches with me to cool down - all the while saying things like, "Wow, you're in better shape than a lot of the people who come in here."

During the stretches, he was amazed at how flexible I am.

Again, I know I'm not as flexible as some, but better than a lot.

It was one of those things where I wanted to shout, "Surprise!" to see what his reaction would be. I didn't, but I wanted to so badly.....

We worked out a day where we could meet and I'll do some work on my own. Afterwards I was too late to duck into yoga, so I hit the treadmill in the women's room for a little bit. Now I hate treadmills, but I wanted to start getting over my fear of running after so long a break and figured a couple of miles on a treadmill was a good starting point.

I'm glad I did it. Even if I was slow as molasses rolling uphill in winter, just knowing I logged a couple of miles on the "random" setting was enough to make me feel better about going out for my Sunday run this week. I'm picking up the plan at the end of week 4 (a five miler for Sunday) and I've given myself permission to walk if I need to - so it's a non-stressed activity. But between the yoga, walking and moments I get to hop on the glider, I figure I should be OK for the most part (even if I'll be running as many miles in one day as I have all month so far).

So off to research some weight and strength training work to do now that I have access to all the cool equipment and the (sorta) watchful eyes of floor staff.

C'mon Baby, Let's do the Twist

The last couple of weeks have been about yoga because I've been a little nervous about running until I feel fully recovered. Last night was the first time that I actually felt like normal, but I promised Mr. Bear that I'm not going to rush it. Because it's colder today than it has been (could it be winter is trying to finally assert itself?), I'm probably heading into the health club to use the treadmill for a little bit.

I just really dislike treadmills. It's a Red Queen's Race - running as fast as you can to stay in one place - which feels like an exercise in frustration. Yet, I can't remain motionless for much longer without losing my mind.

Tomorrow I have some time scheduled with the trainer to develop a strength program to compliment the running. I got a good feeling from him when we booked the appointment and he asked, "Are you on a specific running plan? What are you short and long term goals with your running?" and other questions indicating that he was listening to me instead of doing the generic "this is how I start people off..." thing that I've received in the past. When I told him I was doing Higdon's novice half marathon training, he asked for the website so he could see what was involved and we'll work from there.

Sounded good to me, we'll see how it goes tomorrow. We're meeting before yoga class and reviewing things then.

Yesterday's yoga class was with Blanca who decided to focus on "twists." She's trying to work us to a pose that involves a complicated twist that balances on one part of the hip that looks deceptively simple. I've been trying to find a picture of it, but I haven't found any luck yet. But it gives a whole new meaning to "McTwist" (Tony Hawk has no freakin' clue) and I'm not even close to being there.

By the way there is a pose called "The Wind Releasing Pose" (Pavana Mukta Asana)... but that wasn't the pose that was the one I've dubbed "breaking wind pose."

Gotta love the internet. :)

Stupid HOF ballot

Once again Jim Rice was denied entry into the Hall of Fame. If Mark McGwire had been voted in over Rice, I'd be on my way to Cooperstown to kick in the doors to demand entrance for Rice.

Don't get me wrong, Rice was a prima dona and his revisionist history of himself as a player has always rubbed me the wrong way, but the man was the gold standard (if not platinum in his prime) up until the last mediocre year.

I am firmly of the belief that if you send in a blank ballot, you shouldn't be sent a ballot in the future. I am also firmly of the belief that the majority of sports writers are idiots. We need more guys like Frank DeFord who tell the story of the game and not just recap the box score. The majority of today's media coverage lacks soul. We have quantity, not quality.

But until we have more real writers in the media instead of sterile morons with the proper degree, we will continue to see incidents like last year and this year when it comes to such things as hall of fame voting.

Remember

There is an old Harry Nilsson song called "Remember." It is a beautiful ballad that was originally called "Remember (Christmas)" and had sleigh bells in the background. I mostly know it from a really, really bad movie he made with Ringo Starr called "Son of Dracula" where he sings it as a love ballad.

The song has been playing in my head over the past few days. I'm not sure why but today the yoga teacher was talking about how it was "OK to weep" in one of the positions. She began talking about how sometimes yoga brings up emotions and feelings that we try to stuff down or dismiss. Once we deal with them, then all that is left is to embrace joy.

It's been a rough month. Not being able to run, stresses from the holidays and other stressors that crop up as part of living are stronger since I didn't have an outlet to channel them. Tonight when I found myself literally stuffing them down with spoonfuls of cookie dough, I understood what the yoga teacher was talking about in class today.

I have six weeks to get myself back into shape for my race and I'm worried I won't be able to do it. I haven't been a total couch potato, but there's a big difference between logging 3 miles in a week and logging 3 miles in a run. Tomorrow I'm going to Heartbreak Hill - where I always go to confront my running fears - and try to log at least 3.5 miles. On the way home, I'll stop at the library and pick up a copy of one of Nilsson's CDs that has "Remember" on it and kick back and listen carefully to the nuances of the music.

Until then, I'll try and remember that when I'm sad and feeling down, to turn around and think of all that life can be.

Breaking Wind Pose

Because a branch of my health club has a lunch time Yoga class, I figured, "Why not - it's good to have someone tell you if you're doing it right or not and I need an indulgence day."

OK, things I need to remember: just because the health club is underneath the Japanese food mall doesn't mean I can eat lunch there 3 days a week. I love the Japanese food mall. I love Japanese food - particularly beef bowls and miso soup. Mmmmmm... miso soup. Also I need to find parking that I don't have to pay for since the lot is pretty freaking expensive.

I made it just at the start of class and today the focus was on twisting and stretching the core. That's all well and good but when you twist and stretch your core you get what Mr. Pi refers to as "breaking wind pose." Every so often you'd hear a soft *poot* noise as someone else managed to ... um, massage their intesines.

I was among them.

It was good though. I realized I'm more flexible that I thought and I really have grown stronger. I'm still not quite flexible or strong enough for a tripod headstand or to stand on one foot with my other foot and hands stretched in front of me on the same plane as my spine... but it's cool. I'm better than some and not as good as others and it gives me a measurable goal to work on.

After class I spent 20 minutes on the treadmill - which is a different model than the ones in my regular location - doing a couple of walk/run cycles to start getting back to things. I'm hoping to start running next week now that my breathing seems to be clearing up nicely.

I can't wait until I get back to running... I truly miss it.

Happy New (Calendar) Year!

I was all set to run in a New Year's 4 miler but when I woke up to freezing rain and rain, I thought better of it. Normally running in the rain wouldn't bother me, but where I'm just getting over stuff, I didn't want to risk it. So instead I headed into the gym to do some time on the treadmill.

Now it clearly wasn't a day for me to do anything serious. The weather had stopped me from running outside but when I got to the gym, I realized I didn't have the antenna for the Nike+ with me - so anything I did was going to be unrecorded - and I could live with that - but running on a treadmill just wasn't... well, I don't want to say "fun" because I don't expect it to be. I guess it wasn't satisfying.

As I thought about it, I realized this is like when I first started and wouldn't run where people would see me. I was always worried people would make fun of me. As I started up the treadmill, I realized that I had no clue how to program the thing. I mean, if you want to run a hilly 5k course, how do you set that on these things? What if you want to run a flat, easy tempo distance or something in between?

I stood there watching other folks - fitter folks who were all much younger than me - confidently straddle the belt, push some buttons and then they were off. Me, I stood there thinking, "I should know how to do this."

I only spent 20 minutes on the thing - pretty much raising and lowering the speed as I went along according to what I felt I could handle. The truth is, I joined because I want to do weight training and I really want someone there to keep an eye on me so I don't hurt myself. The idea of running on the treadmill on days like yesterday are a bonus.

This week I'll set up my time with the personal trainer to work through some weight stuff and figure out a plan. I've got to get back to form before the Hyannis race at the end of February. I'd like to be able to feel like I could do the half - if I wanted to - even though I'm signing up for the 10k.

It all leads to this week's mantra: I must be patient with myself.